Dangers Of Assumptions

Assumptions are part of the social contract. To live is to assume.

We don’t know, but we assume that the food and medicines we buy in stores are safe. We don’t know, but we assume that our doctor, dentist, accountant or attorney are well-qualified professionals.

We assume on a larger scale as well. We assume that our social support systems (an ambulance, fire department, mass communication, utility suppliers, Internet access, mass transportation, trash pickup, etc.) are dependable.

On other occasions, we presume and not always correctly. We presume that our justice system is fair. We presume that the Earth is indestructible. We presume that the drivers we share the road with are sober. We presume that peace and democracy can be taken for granted.

In some cases, we choose to assume. Global warming is a natural phenomenon. We don’t have a trash problem. There are still untouched places on Earth.

With all that out of the way, assuming which is essential for normal functioning within a society becomes a habit. Sometimes, we assume or presume out of habit and INCORRECTLY. The two most common habitual assumption-related mistakes are made in legal or sales – contracts and interpersonal relationships.

 

Make no assumptions when signing a contract

When it comes to contracts of any kind, there is no substitute for reading the “fine” print. Don’t assume, don’t presume. Don’t believe anything you were told. Talk can’t be entered into evidence in the court of law. You will be held to the terms of a tangible, written contract. Never rush – or be rushed – into signing anything in a hurry. Take your time and read anything at least twice before signing.

 

Make no assumptions in relationships

Relationships? Assuming or presuming in relationships can be more dangerous than signing a bad contract. Why? Because when it comes to the “social contract” we are acting on norms, rules and experience. When it comes to relationships with people, we assume that other people are mostly like we are ourselves. (“If I wouldn’t act a certain way, you won’t, either.”) Unfortunately, this formula isn’t perfect. (Just think of prisons filled with thieves, murderers, etc.) Assumptions and presumptions in relationships are nothing more than expectations and those can be erroneous.

We are different not only because we are individuals. There are differences in backgrounds, customs, beliefs, culture, upbringing and more. Do yourself a favor and don’t guess what the other person is thinking, feeling or planning.

Ask. Ask very explicitly. It may not always be appropriate. It may not be romantic. You could potentially put a relationship at risk or lose it entirely. Still, NOTHING beats knowing. On time.

Everything this approach may be risking is LESS than you stand to lose if you assume or presume without asking directly, first. The consequences of presuming in relationships can be devastating. Don’t jump into an empty swimming pool!

 

Photo by mari lezhava on Unsplash